The perfect dog roaster?

The levitating dog

I like hot dogs & sausages. A lot. Grilled well done, at that.

But I hate the black crispies that are induced upon grilled dogs where they touch the grill. Yuck.

Obviously, the dog needs to be lifted off the grilling surface while over the fire. Now, one could use a stick, but that is a pain. And for a gas grill, it prevents the lid from being closed, thus taking longer to cook.

Now, clearly, that dog in the photo is lifted off the grill. Almost levitating.

Neat trick, huh? Click on through to the solution created by the fine folks at The solution is a bit, um, phallic in nature — might want to think twice before clicking through if you are in a particularly prudish context….


About 10 days before the crab party (last weekend — pictures and write up coming soon… it was amazing!!!), I was contacted by the folks at to do a link exchange.

I’m not really into the whole link exchange thing, but I will quite happily review a product if you send it to me. And, with the crab party coming up, I had an opportunity to not only do a review but also put the product in front of a lot of people.

I mentioned all this to the owner of the company and he agreed to send me a few samples of the product, including the one in the middle with his little hands bent up to hold business cards.



The roasters are really well made, constructed from a single piece of surgical grade stainless steel. They are cut on using a water-jet based cutter. The company — — can custom cut logos and letters into square base of the roaster.

You basically shove the dogs on the bit that sticks out, as shown in the picture, and then drop ’em on the grill.

You can shove peppers or other roastables on the little arm like appendages.

The one with the hands folded up for business cards actually does a wonderful job of holding a second dog or anything else that needs a good roasting on the grill.


If you are roasting fairly long dogs, they will drop a bit when roasting. This can cause the tip to hit the grill and get quite crispy.

On my gas grill, it is quite easy to solve the problem. Simply remove one half of the roasting grate and let the dogs droop down into the now open area. The tips will still cook quite a bit more than the other end.

Now, I could turn off the back burner on the grill and figure out how to get the dogs to droop in that general direction.



I could simply use two roasters on the one dog! Works well for larger sausages, too!

When cooking, some fat from the dog will drip out of the ends. It tends to land on the incredibly hot stainless steel base and quickly boil off. I have another photo of the grease literally exploding off the base.

I wonder if I can set up the Make High Speed Photography Kit to grab some quality high-speed action shots?

Anyway. Neat company making a very high quality novelty product that is actually useful. Seriously. I greatly prefer dogs roasted this way over dogs roasted directly on the grate.

After mulling it over for a bit, I thought of a potential design for a higher capacity roaster. I forwarded the idea on to the company that makes these and they did some potential designs. I really hope they make it — not only will it be more useful than the one-at-a-time design, I think it’ll be just damned cool and a lot of people will want them!

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12 Responses to “The perfect dog roaster?”

  1. Dog Toys » The perfect dog roaster? says:

    […] Original post by bbum and software by Elliott […]

  2. John C. Randolph says:

    Any geek knows that the proper way to cook a hot dog is to shove some 10 gauge solid copper wire about an inch into each end, and apply a 110 VAC power supply. It cooks in about twenty to thirty seconds (depending on conductivity, which seems to be a function of how salty they are), from the inside out. Yum.


  3. bewhyareohin says:

    bbum, Thanks for the product plug. David Blaine has got nothing on your levitation!!! Another note on our roasters, a little Factoid… Women have contributed to 88% of all our weenie roaster sales. Maybe our roasters make good trophies to heartbroken women coming out of bad relationships? What better way to get over a guy then to throw him on the grill and just burn his weenie until you are satisfied.
    Thanks again,

  4. Roy says:

    Hilarious, especially the money shot

  5. Found on the Web » Grill My Phallus says:

    […] Roast My Weenie: wow, who would actually want one of these? {via} […]

  6. Denise says:

    My wife ordered one of these for our anniversary, what a great gift. She even had my last name cut into the base of the cooker. At a recent cook-out if I would have had a box of these to sell, I would have cleaned house! Great product!!!

  7. bbum’s weblog-o-mat » Blog Archive » Cthulhu: Eater of Souls, Roaster of Dogs says:

    […] while ago, I wrote about some pretty funny / cool hot dog roasters sent to me from the folks at […]

  8. John Cobb@Warner Robins Georgia says:

    That’s hilarious – I’ll definitely share your blog and the site with friends.
    Thanks for the laugh!

  9. Engraved Gifts says:

    That is awesome! An awkward gift to give someone like, say, your in-laws, but a great gift for anyone with a sense of humor. I especially like the engraved personalization … nice touch!

  10. Dog blog says:

    Ha! I’m totally giving that as a gift to somebody. I haven’t decided who that lucky person is yet!

  11. DWK says:

    A Great gift for anyone everyone loves a Big Johnston

    Imagine whipping this bad boy out at the campground you’ll be the hit of the grill or tail gate party .

    Just picture opening up the grill asking your friends how they like there meat , with a ballpark plumping up on it at the grill….they will be on the ground laughing .

    Cooking a hot dog over the grilling will never be the same with this utensil.

    great gift … Fathers day, Mothers day, Christmas, Bah Mitzvah, Wedding, Divorce, Vasectomy, Boss’s day…,

    Remember roasting a weenie isn’t porno it is a novelty.

    got to get mine soon

  12. Laura says:

    I’m a womam and find it funny. Even my mother-in-law would find it funny. My hubby will like that for next summer BBQ.

    Thanks for sharing

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