Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Life Imitates Napolean Dynamite

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

Update: *bing* *bing* *bing* We have a winner! The winner of the “too blinded by rage filled anonymous hatred to recognize sarcasm” award goes to Lake Effect!! Congratulations! And Thank you! The Internet never ceases to amuse.

Christ, people. Do you honestly think there is one ounce of my overweight self that actually takes these pinatas seriously? It is just some anonymous jeep shaped thing with crappy brown paper bits taped on and some random clueless looking generic, non-representative, soldier type cartoons on the side. If that stirs outrage — OUTRAGE — because you equate it to the whole “Iraq Adventure (Where you can declare that you have won over and over again!)”, then you seriously need to unclench the old diamond factory and relax a bit. Being wound so tight has gotta be seriously bad for your health! Especially since there are actual Really Bad Things to get wound up about.

It is just a damned pinata, people. Y’all been punk’d if you took it seriously.

Sheesh.


stupidity

BoingBoing is reporting the outrage — the OUTRAGE — caused by a pinata in the shape of a hummer with some soldier types in it.

And THANK GOD the company has since taken it off the market.

Why no horror at the reindeer pinata, the (not nearly as realistic) fighter jet pinata, the Dora pinata, or the space shuttle pinata?

But, really, is that all the outrage they can muster? How about focusing some of that toy based outrage — OUTRAGE!! AUGUHGHGHHH!! — at something remotely meaningful like this My Little Hooker Makeup Kit?

Except, of course, if you already have that toy in the house. If so, consider rounding out the collection with this invaluable educational toy.

Random conversation overheard

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

A conversation between a spammer and a robot.

Subject: Re: Thank you!

Hello!
Unknown command - "HELLO!". Try HELP.

I have spent much time for the developement.
Unknown command - "I". Try HELP.

Summary of resource utilization
-------------------------------
 CPU time:        0.000 sec                Device I/O:        8
 Overhead CPU:    0.000 sec                Paging I/O:        0
 CPU model:         2-CPU 800MHz Pentium III Xeon 256k (1152M)

I thought it was funny, anyway. Hmm… looks like I need a “Geek Humor” sub-category on my weblog.

Toon Heads

Monday, December 18th, 2006

Update: Ryan commented that Peace on Earth is on YouTube. Don’t know how long that will last, but the copyright is 1939. Maybe, just maybe, this bit of brilliance is in the public domain? If anyone knows a DVD collection that includes this cartoon, please let me know!

I’m a huge fan of cartoons. I grew up on Bugs Bunny (and the associated classics from about 1930 onward) and continue to enjoy them to this day.

Most modern cartoons suck. Of course, most cartoons “back in the day” likely sucked, too, but the good ones survived. There are some real gems these days. Foster’s Home immediately comes to mind (kgghghhhhhhh…… ok).

For classic cartoons, nothing beats Boomerang. It is a commercial free spinoff of Cartoon Network that plays nothing but cartoons, mostly old and occasionally new. It includes both the classic cartoons and the older totally sucky cartoons. (Kind of like Gilligan’s Island, the sucky cartoons are often things that I used to like. When I was 8.)

In particular, Boomerang carries Toon Heads. Each episode is a 30 minute (or 1 hour) collection of 3 or more cartoons that are historically related. Each episode may focus on one particular director, a subject, recurring themes, the evolution of particular characters, or the like. Each episode narrates what is special or interesting about the cartoons to be shown and then shows the cartoons in their entirety.

Brilliant stuff. Very interesting.

Tonight’s episode featured Christmas related cartoons. The one that stood out was Peace on Earth. This was a 1939 MGM released cartoon where Grandpa Mouse narrates the story of the last man on earth and the peace brought to the animals upon his death. All of men died fighting wars. The cartoon was produced prior to World War II and released during the beginning of the European part of the war.

Very dark. Poignant. Great stuff. Unfortunately apropos to these modern times.

Oh, and any fan of cartoons should be reading John K.’s weblog.

Dell followup: Apparently, bbum is a journalist that doesn’t deserve a job

Friday, September 8th, 2006

Of course, any time a post critical of some company gains any attention on the Internet, it attracts ridiculous responses that attempt to apologize or justify the state of whatever is being criticized.

And the silliness ensues….

Two of my favorites (so far).

“Bob” posts:

Any of you jokers notice that little “search” box up top. If you know the freakin’ product name, type it in for cryin’ out loud… Of course, when you don’t have a lot of content, it’s easier to organize it. There are only seven different Apple Products — MB, MBP, iM, iP, XServe & RAID. But then again, being not a fanboy to the extreme, I shoud be confuse: should I choose Store, How to buy, Where to buy, Why to buy, Hardware, Pro, or Watch our Commercials. Wow, how extremely terrible! (doofi!)

So, Bob, you are claiming that a search box at the top of the page and the customer having to remember a non-obvious product name ornumber across two page transitions is a good (or even passable) user experience? That it is somehow acceptable in comparison to, say, whipping out some 1993 technology and actually providing a direct hyperlink?

Read the rest of this entry »

Amazon’s Cardboard Conspiracy

Friday, September 8th, 2006

Has anyone checked to see if a cardboard box manufacturing magnate is on the Amazon board of directors? That is the only way I can explain their packaging policy.

Boing Boing posted a story of ridiculous packaging from Amazon; 9 towel sets in 18 boxes.

Very large box containing very small item....

I recently ordered a magnetic knife holder from Amazon. It kicks butt.

But the packaging, pictured at left, was just plain silly! The knife holder is basically a big chunk of stainless steel in a box. Yet, Amazon sent it in a box with about 20 of those little air cushions.

To package all this air, the box was easily 10x taller and 10x wider than the actual magnetic knife holders packaging! And the knife holder box wasn’t wrapped at all. It was simply floating free in the box.

What a total waste of cardboard (and little plastic balloons)!

I’m such a statistic.

Friday, January 20th, 2006

Nielsen NetRatings pulled together a bunch of statistics about the iTunes Music Store and its listeners/users.

World Cup in Subaru

Apparently, iTunes users are 2.2 times more likely to own a Volkswagen. Missed that one. But Subaru is also favored and I have a Forester. Of course, I got the Forester because it is the smallest enclosed car of any practicality that can hold a pinball machine (including one with the backglass folded down).

Alcohol of choice appears to be cider, then imported beers. Almost — Tequila, then beer here.

Completely missed on the magazines, though. I gave up on Wired at the same time they claimed “The Web Is Dead. PUSH Is Here.”. Yeah. Total bust. Coincidentally, Wired ventures was heavily vested in the push related companies. I did run across the article about the 100+ things Apple should do to survive (1997). I think #36 or so was the first thing Apple actually did. To be fair, I do like some of their online content.

iTunes users are also quite likely to watch Cartoon Network. Heh. I just discovered Perfect Hair Forever. Da-da-lalalalalala.

Scott Adams’s weblog

Thursday, January 5th, 2006

Scott Adams (Dilbert author) has a weblog. In it, he says all the things that he can’t say in the comic strip. He criticizes his own work, makes fun of everything and everyone, and is both thought provoking and damned funny.

In a post called Clever Or Stupid – You Decide, Scott discussed part of a recently published comic and inviting reader commentary in regards to “violating the third wall”.

Scott followed up with an absolutely hilarious post that appears to have been deleted. Fortunately, I have it in my NetNewsWire cache. An excerpt:

A surprising number of you accused me of “violating a wall” in some sort of intimate fashion. I think I speak for every guy who has ever passed through puberty when I say, “Yes, I have violated a wall.” It wasn’t bad either. It was no floor, mind you, but not the worst I’ve had. As the inanimates go, a wall is relatively attractive.

Later, he mentions moccasins and vacuum cleaners. And his mom.

Subscribed.

From the dept of silly disclaimers: PopCorn

Friday, March 11th, 2005

PopCorn is a handy little software package that makes it really easy to compress and burn non-protected DVDs down to a single sided piece of media. The PopCorn product page contains this little ditty: USE OF THIS SOFTWARE TO MAKE UNAUTHORIZED COPIES OF MOVIES AND OTHER CONTENT MAY REQUIRE THE PERMISSION OF THE COPYRIGHT OWNER.

Huh?

If I were to receive permission to copy a movie or other content, how could it still be “unauthorized”?

Or is the assumption that all copies, regardless of legality or permission, are to be considered unauthorized?

Probably the latter. More sad than silly, really.

Fox airs a naughty word!

Wednesday, October 20th, 2004

If you happen to have watched the Red Sox rush the field after the final out (Congrats Sox!), you might have caught the two players that gave each other a celebratory hug while one of them quite clearly said “I’m so fuckin’ proud of you!”.

Caught it on TiVo. Replayed. Definitely. Chatted a friend. He caught it on the East Coast, too.

Oops… If Janet’s little wardrobe malfunction was boobgate, I guess this one will be…

I wonder if the FCC will notice?